Overcoming.

This damn disease  is hard to come to grips with.
It is one thing to get used to pricking your fingers several times a day, let alone doing that while out in public somewhere.  I mean, the whole concept goes against everything you’re taught.  For 45 years I’ve been trying to avoid pain, especially self inflicted pain.  It’s not normal. 

I guess that proves it- I’m officially abnormal.  That won’t come as any big surprise to my friends. 

We went out to eat Sunday evening.  As we were headed out the door I realized I need to do my regular “before dinner” blood glucose check, so I grabbed my glucose meter kit and took it with me.  I probably need to create the habit of taking it with me everywhere anyway.  So we get to the restaurant, order and go to our table to await our hot fresh delicious pizza (yeah, I know, but…pizza!).  Time to whip out the glucometer. 

Now you know the whole process takes probably less than a minute, but I couldn’t help but feel self conscious, a bit different, almost like I was sitting naked at the table.  The place wasn’t very busy, and it isn’t very big, and everyone else was talking to each other, so I don’t think anyone even noticed what I was doing.  But still- I never have liked being the center of attention. 

I suppose it all comes down to this- overcoming. 

Overcoming old habits. Replacing them with new ones.
Overcoming fears.  Fear of a little prick of pain.  Fear of a drop of blood (blood is supposed to be on the inside, after all).

And the fear of doing something abnormal in public.

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